Kevin & The Pizza Boy
by YourMainManButtSripher
Summary: Kevin gets a neat-o surprise from the Pizza Boy!


As the pizza boy pulled up to the front of the McAllisters in his "Crown Vic" 4.6 liter V8 228 horsepower 4,132lb automobile. He was excited because he got to see . He described her as a middle aged woman with the striking features of your average Chicago citizen living in the upper to middle class estate. The reason he didn't want to go to their humble abode is because dis lil shit named "Kevin" threatened to bring his dank ass TEC-9 semi automatic handgun with a 20 round magazine weighing in at 1233 grams with a barrel length of 127mm to school and kevin said that he was gonna "busta cap in yo dome niqqa." That is why pizza boy didn't like Kevin but he was still excited to see protruding sex organs. As always he ran that lil fucker statue down like NASDAQ before standing it upright and ringing the doorbell that was connected to a 120 volts AC electrical fixture. Only this time, the door didn't open to protruding lactation devices known as "dem tiddies", instead it opened to a fuccboi of a police officer and his name was Harry (like the pizza boy's underarms.) He instantly went from an erection scoring a 8.7 on the hardness scale to a soggy twinkie of a sex organ. The pizza boy finally thought "dat lil shit Kevin" told the police about all the child porn he was filming with kevin when Kevin was home alone and was about to get caught. His erection came back at the thought of child porn. He smiled smugly and winked at kevin giving Kevin "a young child" a slight tingling sensation around the nipples as does when he is around the santa at the mall. The pizza boy saw in the kitchen "wherdabitch belongs" walking towards the front door of their middle class american home the pizza boy's anus began to smile. When she arrived at the door after walking approximately 26 feet at 2mph, she said, "Sorry I don't have any money 'cause my "gay son kevin" spent it all on high end sex toys and hentai magazines from the drug dealer on the corner. She winked and farted the Russian national anthem while reciting the Big Smoke's order from Grand Theft Auto San Andreas video game. The pizza boy imagined all the fags in the house disappearing and them having violent impactful sexual intercourse on their kitchen counter while facing 234 degrees to the south-west. And that's exactly what happened and then he finally open up his pizza box just before ejaculating terabytes of DNA and screamed in the air using his vocal cords "I WANT THE ALLERGY MEDICINE IN MY ASS!" And pulling out a Best Buy membership card and swiping it down her ass crack. Kevin reapered 'cause, "He a ho ass niqqa." Before shouting ZOOWEEMAMA and responded with "THE CHINESE EXCLUSION ACT OF 1882!" And it was at this glorious moment in time that Morgan Freeman was born in the hands of Bob Ross. Concluding that the average wind speed of a fart is 7mph and beginning on the topic that is how the story ends there are a lot of speculations but the true ending is buzz ate Kevin's cheese pizza and if he hadn't of eaten that pizza 9/11 wouldn't have happened and slavery would still be a thing, all three of which are great options but the pizza boy still hasn't "got that nut in" right. The pizza boy blew his load all over the kitchen, weirdly enough this was the first time it didn't get on kevin though and instead hit the police officer and all of the cum turned into cheese pizza. Kevin of course starting eating the pizza and the pizza boy soon said "this thing couldn't pull a greasy string out of a dogs ass" before swiftly making his way to the front door and exiting because he was confused that he had intercourse with Kevin's mother instead of kevin. Either way he was still satisfied because he had sex with someone over the age of 11 for the first time. After he left, the family returned out of nowhere with anus smoking a Cuban cigar on the table. It was about then that everyone left again and she committed suicide by drinking a rope. The pizza boy returned to delivering pizzas and the situation of kevin receiving a plain cheese pizza became an ongoing joke in the home alone movie series. Kevin ran up the stairs screaming BUSH DID 9/11 as usual and went into the attic where he saw fuller. "Dis niqqa fuller had the bladder of my 102 year old nan and he always peed the bed. Kevin got that same tingling around the nipples from before at the thought of this and jumped into the bed with fuller to find that the entire room was soaking wet with pee. He said "fuller you lil shit bend over now!" fuller did as he was told and fuller peed on kevin while they were having anal sexual intercourse. Then fuller said "kevin we need to leave or you're going back to the adoption facility". This was strange cause fuller did not say things like that. Then he heard a door open but the door was closed. He woke up. They were leaving for vacation. Kevin didn't really want to go on vacation anymore because the small bit of hope that was that dream for kevin didn't come true like he thought it had, it made him so sad that he killed himself because if that dream couldn't come true for him why should he live.

The end,

fuccboi

thankyouandgoodnightmypeoplemadebyQ&Kproductionsseeyoufuckersinthenextepisode


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